You know what? 13's not that young. A 13 year old is physically able to have sex safely, and enjoy it. In some cultures and different times in history, 13 year olds were married, sometimes to men much older than them, legally, and with all the rights and responsibilities that implies. While i think the idea of a 40 year old man with a 13 year old girl is creepy, in this situation, where the man was not a parent, teacher or other caregiver, and where they met at a drunken party, where her age may not have been apparent, I don't think it should be lumped in with pedophilia.
I found this UK article:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/sep/24/sex-under-16-underageThere is no scientific or medical evidence that shows that 16 is the magic age at which people become mature enough to have sex. Sixteen is arbitary. So why stick with it?
In 20 European nations, the age of consent is lower than 16. The minimum age (with some qualifications) is 13 in Spain, 15 in France and Poland and 14 in Germany, Portugal and Italy. There is no evidence that these lower ages of consent result in more teen pregnancies, sexual infections or child abuse.
These countries, most of them staunchly Catholic, would not have low age limits if they thought young people were being put at risk. They realise that the laws against rape and indecent assault provide adequate protection against sexual violence and exploitation.
By restricting young people's sexual rights, this limit actually makes abuse more likely. It reinforces the idea that young people under the age of 16 do not have the right to control their own bodies. This sexual disempowerment plays into the hands of adults who want to abuse them.
Guilt and shame about sex also increase the likelihood of molestation by encouraging the furtiveness and secrecy on which abuse thrives. One way to protect young people against unwanted sexual advances is by promoting sex-affirmative attitudes that challenge the idea that sex is something sordid, and by empowering teenagers to stand up for their sexual rights. Sexually informed, unabashed and confident youngsters are more likely to resist sexual pressure and manipulation, and more likely to report abusers.
Criminalisation is dangerous because it can inhibit young people from seeking safer sex advice, condoms and the morning after pill. It can also make them afraid to report abusive relationships. They may fear getting into trouble, so they stay silent.
The age of consent of 16 inhibits some teachers and youth workers from giving explicit sexual information to the under-16s. They fear being prosecuted by the police, or sued by disgruntled parents, for aiding and abetting unlawful sexual acts. This can make them reticent to provide explicit advice to underage young people.
It is true that sex can sometimes be dangerous and harmful, but not always. At puberty, as hormones kick in, youngsters develop sexual feelings. This is entirely natural and healthy. Some teens, and even young children, innocently and spontaneously explore and experiment at an early age. It most cases this causes them no harm at all. If there is harm caused, it is usually not as a result of sex per se, but because of emotional abuse within relationships and unsafe sex that causes infections and makes young girls pregnant when they are not ready for motherhood.
Providing it is safe and with consent, sex is good. It is not dirty, shameful or damaging. It is an immensely pleasurable and profound human bond, which involves intense shared fulfilment and happiness. Consensual sex should not be stigmatised or criminalised, not for young people, not for adults, not for anyone.