My health insurance company called a couple of months ago and scheduled an appointment with me for a home visit from a "nurse practitioner" to check on me and make sure all of my medicines were current and I was getting all of my scheduled medical check-ups.
When she arrived today, she went through all of my medicines, and asked me a bunch of questions and gave me an examination whilst I sat at my dining room table.
All of the questions seemed reasonable, except for a couple asking about my mental status. She noted I had been listed as "depressed" after my heart surgery and stroke, and asked me had the doctors considered "IT" "psychotic."
I hardly think it was psychotic. I was given no treatment for it and told it was part of the reaction to surgery.
Then she asked me how I felt about my life. Was I able to do the things I enjoyed as much as I once did?
Well, no, I can't.
And did I ever think about dying?
Sure.
Did I ever think about maybe I ought to be dead, deserved to be dead, or think about hurting myself?
No.
Did I sleep well at night, or did I have trouble getting to sleep at night.
I usually sleep well. Occasionally can't sleep because of physical discomfort.
Did I ever think I would probably be better off dead?
(Long pause....philosophically thinking...weighing the potential future...)
Actually, yes, I probably would be.
(Anticipated next question...."Do you want to die?" It didn't come.)
So I am down on record, for my health insurance company, that I think "I would be better off dead."
Hmmmmmm.
What the next question was, I can't recall. I was so expecting the "Do you want to die? " or "Would you rather be dead?" I was surprised that she dropped the subject, as I wanted to qualify the "better off dead" with some comments pertaining to my reasons for wanting to live, even if it was uncomfortable or disappointing at times, even though I recognized I would probably honestly, literally, qualitatively, be "better off dead." I didn't get the opportunity.
Obama's plan hasn't even kicked in yet, and I'm getting the "death panel" questions. lol This visit and these questions were asked by an agent of a health insurance company that offers the "Medicare Advantage Plan" which was created under GWB. This is from the HMO that the State of South Carolina forced the low income elderly on Medicare to sign up with by rejecting the Federally operated Medicare Program. We were given no choice of insurance companies because only one company was operating in South Carolina at the time that would take on the low income people. I live on my SS income.
I am posting this on every group I belong to, just in case your health insurance company schedules any "home visits" just to "check on how you're doin'. Lotsa luck.
jd