My students have been ridiculously cute lately, and a friend suggested I should write a book someday. I'm not sure I have a book in me, but I do have at least a thread. So, welcome to this year's edition to...

SHIT MY KIDS SAY

"I signed up for soccer, but I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR THIS!" (A kindergarten boy, in the office, while the fact that he has to listen to his teachers is explained to him)

"I told you people ALL SUMMER. I am NOT going to school EVERY DAY!" (grade one boy, after being carried to school over the shoulder of his daycare worker on the third day)

"we are at the highschool, so we must be going to the prom." (grade one boy, after being asked to predict what activity the teenagers in the parenting class had prepared for his class)

"that's my dad, snoring." (grade one boy, explaining the picture on his conservation of energy poster.)

"my name is Edward. And i'm strong and brave." (grade three boy, after being introduced by his friend as the short kid)

"yes. I deserve an academy award." (grade 2 girl, after being told she did a good job in a drama skit)

I'm continuing this, but i'm saving before my computer glitches.

"well, she SHOULD dress like this." (grade one girl, after being asked why she drew the principal with pink dreadlocks and a fringe miniskirt)

"the principal provides the community with communication, because he listens to everyone's complaints all day." (grade one girl, community helper project)

"because my parents paid me." (grade one boy, after being asked why it was important to pick up garbage outside on earth day)

"you're an overpaid poopyhead." (grade one boy, after being told to put his chair down and stop yelling)

"well, he was feeling left out, so we pushed him in the puddle too!" (group of grade one boys explaining why they were all dripping wet)

"because he's smaller than me, and I already gave him a big lump on his head yesterday." (grade one girl, after being asked why it was important to take care of her little brother)

"four rectangles and 2 squares makes a rectal prison" (grade three student, explaining the 3d shape he made)

"odd numbers are sad numbers because someone is always left out" (grade one girl, showing how even numbers of blocks can be paired up, but odd numbers can't)

"but i'm clean now. I had a shower." (kindergarten girl, after standing under the roof drain on the kinderpac at recess)