IMO, it seems as if teens don't really know what to do about this. I truly believe that many times they do what they think is expected of them in this new electronic culture. Most of them probably know it's wrong, but want to fit in. I totally agree with the last sentence but, sadly, that is lacking.

Boys also harmed by teen 'hookup' culture, experts say

A 15-year-old girl sits in high school English class when a text message pops up on her cellphone. It's from a boy sitting across the room. He hardly knows her, but he likes her. Here's how he chooses to get that message across:


Him: "So, are you good at hooking up?"

Her: "Um idk. I don't really think about that."

Him: "Well, I want my d--k in your mouth? Will you at least be my girlfriend."

It's the kind of scenario that's playing out among teens across America, illustrating an increasing confusion among boys about how to behave, experts say. In the casual-sex "hookup" culture, courtship happens by text and tweet. Boys send X-rated propositions to girls in class. Crude photos, even nude photos, play a role once reserved for the handwritten note saying, "Hey, I like you."

According to new research, boys who engage in this kind of sexualized behavior say they have no intention to be hostile or demeaning — precisely the opposite. While they admit they are pushing limits, they also think they are simply courting. They describe it as "goofing around, flirting," said Catherine Steiner-Adair, a clinical psychologist and school consultant who interviewed 1,000 students nationwide for her new book, "The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age."
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Conventional wisdom tends to oversimplify the situation to something along the lines of: Boys get to have sex, which is really all they want. They are seen as predators, and girls, their prey.

Reality is far more complex than this, in ways that can affect young men socially and emotionally well into adulthood, according to Steiner-Adair. It's "insufficient, superficial and polarizing when boys simply get cast as aggressors and girls as victims," she said. In her view, girls can certainly suffer negative consequences from the hookup culture. Her point is: Boys can, too. "It's such a bad part of our culture to think that boys aren't also harmed," she says. "We are neglecting the emotional lives of boys."

In interviews and focus groups, Steiner-Adair talked with boys and girls ages 4 to 18 at suburban public and private schools, with consent from parents and schools, about their relationships and influences. Kids from the fourth grade and up shared their private texts and Facebook posts, unveiling the dating landscape. In one case, a boy sent a naked snapshot of himself to his girlfriend, with a suggestive caption. The girl, who had never seen her boyfriend naked, was shocked, and said she felt the relationship had suddenly lost its innocence. "I was so mad about that," she said. The girl's reaction, in turn, surprised the boy. He really liked her. His behavior, said Steiner-Adair, was "aggressive in a way that boys don't understand."

Steiner-Adair also saw the string of texts between the 15-year-old girl in English class and her suitor. The girl described the conversation as "a stupid, disgusting exchange," adding that it was "typical for the boys at our school." Still, the girl became intrigued when the boy revealed in a subsequent note that he liked her. The girl wondered if she should tell him how his initial approach had offended her. Then she started to cry, questioning whether it was worth the effort.
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To be sure, some boys have always been crude. The new extremes, said Steiner-Adair, can be damaging. Boys don't benefit, she said, from learning to be demeaning toward girls or to treat them as sexual objects. She said boys often expressed a desire for a deeper connection with girls, but felt confused about how to make it happen. They are "yearning for intimacy that goes beyond biology," she said. "They just don't know how to achieve it."
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The key to developing solid relationships lies partly in early education, said Steiner-Adair. To that end, some schools are launching classes focused on social and emotional issues, with teachers talking about gender, language, social media and healthy relationships.


Also critical, according to Steiner-Adair, is family time spent away from screens. In her research, teens often said their parents were embroiled in work or personal interests and simply not available. Some parents said they were intimidated by their children's complaints and exploits, and didn't want to seem ignorant or helpless. The heart of the matter for families, she said, is good old-fashioned talking — the kind you do face to face.

http://news.ca.msn.com/top-stories/boys ... xperts-say

To that end, some schools are launching classes focused on social and emotional issues, with teachers talking about gender, language, social media and healthy relationships.

And as long as schools continue to assume parental duties the parents won't.
Make parents responsible for their childrens' actions until their kids are 14 or so.

This is not a technology instituted problem. There were notes passed back in the pre digital age that did not say " Hey, i like you" but instead said some of the more offensive examples. The girl who was upset by the nude pic of her boyfriend and his not understanding also happened pre digital photo culture. A boyfriend once presented himself to me naked in person when I was 14 and he did not understand why I would not see him or talk to him anymore. Same problems, different media. It's all about proper social development and good parenting.

Generational differences. During my adolescence and teen years nothing like that happened in my world. No one passed suggestive notes and no one stripped for others. That was the 60's and 70's. I'm sure it probably happened in my daughter's time. I'll have to ask, since I never heard about it or saw it.

totally weird. sorry, it just is.

Of course, Chaos! But, I never received a note asking if I would suck some guys dick, nor did I send/get naked pics or have anyone strip for me. I'm too old to have had smart phones, texts and such.........so are my girls.

The worst thing that happened to me was a guy wanted to make out in the dark at a party. I was his date, but it was our first date. I was 15 at the time, LOL! Kissing was fine, but not a make out session that included touching! When he took me home (or his Mom, that is ), he walked me to the door (does anyone do that these days?) and gave me a peck on the cheek. Our one and only date. Sigh, he was sooooooooo cute too, but I had my standards.

It happened in 1974 and more. Perhaps it was geographical- I was in a big city in the northeast.

I was in the South. My graduating class of 1972 was 300+, but the population of the city wasn't even 500,000 yet. Although classified a "big city" in the South comparatively speaking, and the biggest in the state, the cultural differences were vast compared to, say, NY City, Detroit or Chicago. We would have been classified as "backward hicks" in our social interactions. I'm very happy with that.