This man has been interviewed by CTV too. I applaud his courage in speaking out and his desire to help other men.

Halifax man shares story to raise awareness about domestic violence against men

A Halifax man who was abused by his partner is sharing his story to raise awareness about domestic violence against men.

Mal Maguire learned he was suffering from blood poisoning after a trip to the dentist in December 2011.

“I had this moment on Dec. 1, 2011 that I realized I was one dental appointment away from death at the hands of the woman that I loved,” says Maguire.

He says his partner was bigger than him and had rage issues. He says the first incident of physical violence came after she lost a card game.

“She turned around and she pushed me so hard with both hands. I fell backwards on the stairs and I was in complete shock.”

Women are typically thought of as victims in domestic violence cases, but statistics show men accounted for 22 per cent of domestic abuse victims in 2010.

Experts say that number is likely higher, since 66 per cent of all victims tell friends and family, but don’t report incidents to police.

“I think it’s a humiliating experience for men to come forward and say that ‘I am being abused’ so I think that they would rather be silent and keep silent,” says Verona Singer of Halifax Regional Police Victim Services.

When Maguire first started looking for help, he quickly realized there was nowhere for him to turn. He is now working on starting a support group specifically for men who are victims of domestic violence.

“They’re expected to kind of tough things out, and you know, all that stuff, which is hilarious and awful and sad, because everybody hurts,” he says.

Maguire says he finally stopped hurting when he learned about forgiveness.

“Then everything went phew, in a completely different direction, and I started to heal up very fast.”

Maguire is working with a local social worker on his support group. He also has the support of Halifax Regional Police Victim Services.

Maguire believes his group will be one of the first of its kind in Canada, and is hoping to have it up and running in a few months.

Read more: http://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/halifax-man- ... z2s6rBSkLG

Good for him. Brave man and what he is doing is so necessary

wow. 22%?

It's far more likely that women victims will have serious physical injuries due to the abuse by the men. Plus, it depends on the definition of domestic abuse. It can include the emotional abuse, plus throwing things, making a verbal threat, slapping, etc. Chaos is right, if a guy is attacking verbally or physically and the woman slaps, she will be charged with abuse. Of course, that is true for the man, too, if he slaps in retalation. It seems that people are beginning to think that all women report their abuse and it's just men who don't. That's bs. Women still have problems with guilt and shame and fearing they won't be believed or won't be protected and will be hurt even worse or killed. That happens a lot. Restraining orders and such are worthless. So the total numbers of abuse victims is greater but not necessarily the percentage that are men.

I reread the op and have a question. Are they saying the wife is responsible for his blood poisoning? If so, how? If not why was that even mentioned? I find that part confusing.

jeanne, the best I can tell, the blood poisoning was a result of a blow she gave him that knocked his tooth out. I guess it didn't heal properly.

Chaos, I tried to research that, but found nothing that made sense. I do also wonder if the reverse is true. If a man hits a woman and she hits back, does she also get charged?

These things are so difficult to ascertain. It's usually a "he said, she said" scenario, unless it is totally one sided. If a person has been brutally abused by a loved one more than once, they usually become cowed and will not strike back for fear of futher abuse. If that makes sense. "I don't want to make him/her angrier"

I think that domestic violence is under reported for men and women. Psychological factors also play a part in that. "I can make him/her better". "S/he promised not to do it again". When you love someone, you keep expecting the best, even as you're being beaten. It's insidious.

However, I do question the 22% figure.

Why?
Do you have evidence disproving it?

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-224-x/8 ... 00-eng.htm

If a man hits a woman and she hits back, does she also get charged?

That's what happened to me. (Eventually all dropped.) They took him away in the back of a patrol car, came back a half hour later and said he was pressing charges against me for assault. Even the cops apologized and said it was BS, but they had no choice. But they were nice enough to let me just drive myself over to the police station for fingerprints and all. lol

I have heard about that. I think, while inconvenient, the fact that both sides get charged in that situation is fair. The truth will out when facts are looked at--a charge is not a conviction, and the police can then be seen as non biased, which may make the charges against the abuser more likely to stick.

I have no idea what the real numbers are--but I do think that we have to be careful not to turn the discussion into a contest. The domestic abuse laws were written in a time when men had much more systemic power over their wives than i think they do now. That doesn't mean that, especially in certain social circles, they don't have an imbalance of REAL power. But a lot has changed since those laws were written. More women work, and stay at home parents with no independent income are no longer the norm. The stay at home parents that do exist may be men now. It's not as common as the other model, but men are more and more choosing to stay at home with kids at least for a while, and that changes the power dynamic--men aren't the owners of the money and the providers and "lords of the house" by default the way they were in the 50s. the other thing that has changed is the legality of same sex marriage and the resulting families, who also need to be considered in the domestic abuse laws.

I think that abuse is most likely to happen in a circumstance where there is an imbalance of power. When men worked and women stayed home, that power usually fell with the breadwinners--and the abuse went that direction too. as women gain more power in society, i think the likelihood that they will abuse that power grows as well. While there are still power differentials in society between genders that tip the abuse scale more towards men abusing women (men still make more money than women, and men are physically stronger than women on average, making them more likely to WIN a domestic argument--because of a physical power differential) I think it is very important that our laws and our social safety net recognize all needs and scenarios, and avoid stereotypes that may be decades old at this point. there are men abused by women. there are women who control the finances and use that power to manipulate their spouses. there are also men who are abuse other men in domestic relationships. and those victims need our support.

damn, marriage is a hard thing to get right.

I'm thinking we may never know the real numbers of dv ~ there's no question in my own mind that men are even less likely than women to report dv, or that some women are abusive ~ so I'm pleased that a man is trying to lessen the stigma via available services for men who are victims ~

Domestic violence is always WRONG and is never the answer ... no matter who is the victim and who is the victimizer ~

Sooz