I agree with what your saying gat, but in today's "hook-up" culture, it's not about romance, but about sex with the young people. Partying, drinking, drugging are all involved too. Beyond the actions of a violent rapist/predator that's where most of the rape accusations come into play imo. Not from a young couple "in love" and looking to express that love by having a romantic sexual encounter.

I know there is a huge spectrum of sexual crimes beyond the above, as we are seeing with the accusations against Cosby and Ghomeshi who appear to have used their celebrity/power to force themselves on women. This law isn't about such crimes. It is mostly about young people, I think.

Not sure I'm making sense. Sick and fuzzy headed, lol. I'm sure someone will let me know if I'm talking out my azz.

Not with all young people. I'm actually thinking as a parent of two teenage boys right now. And what do I want to teach them about sex and morality? And I think "If you're not sure ask, or ask anyway" is a pretty good message.

I think some date rapes are a result of inexperienced boys going too far. Maybe girls too--but I don't have any daughters, so I'm thinking about what to teach my sons.

And I don't think all young people are drug crazed sex maniacs. There are a percentage that are, and that's sad. But there are also a lot of kids that are the way kids have always been. Shy, hormonally charged, quick to fall in love, quick to crush, convinced they are madly in love with one person one day and another the next, trying to impress, trying to figure out their place in everything, easily hurt and devastated....and just generally concerned with doing the right thing despite everything.

And they need leadership. If they don't get leadership from the adults in their lives (parents, teachers, other important adults) then there is no one else to tell them the way things are or could be, except their drug crazed sex maniac peers. And that aint good.

I didn't say all young people are drug crazed sex maniacs. I said that is when a lot of meaningless sex happens. At parties. Some rape allegations may come from that.

We talked about sex at the dinner table from the time my girls were around 6 or 7. Explained about morality and (as the parent of two daughters) how teen boys think with their gonads. We talked about the "right time" as in with someone they really cared about and to come to us if they decided to have sex. We talked about condoms. We talked and talked and talked. Imagine my surprise when I discovered my oldest had her first sexual encounter at 12! She told me when she was 17. Leadership from parents only goes so far. Trying to fit in and peer approval trumps that many times.

The "right thing" may only be the "right now thing". Parents do their best and then it's a crap shoot.

Why not GAT?

Well, from my perspective it makes having sex almost something like a business/bureaucratic arrangement. A big part of the first flush of romance is the unspoken connection, and if you don't have that in a long term relationship then maybe you should be looking for a different one.

Now, people do get it wrong. But that's where the "no means no" advice comes into play.

A notarized contract is a bit much, I'd say.

Red. Abs. (she says, cleverly disguising the fact that she can't spell the term)

No one is asking for a notarized contract. I mean, really. If you aren't confident enough with a woman to stop kissing for a minute and whisper in her ear "are you into this? Will you make love to me?" Then there is a really good chance you shouldn't be getting naked with her in the first place. I don't think it's that big of a deal.

In fact, according to one of my brother's ex girlfriends, it's been tried successfully before! haha

Nothing wrong with it ...... unless you make it a requirement. Then it kind of loses any romantic aspect.

Or it could be that I'm just totally lacking in any confidence with women I guess.....

(That's a response to the ad hominem )

I guess it isn't always apparent when one is being facetious.