Garry Linnell: Break out the tinfoil hats. Conspiracies are getting worse

vid at source

I’m so sorry.

How could I have been so stupid?

I laughed when I heard some of you Victorians had refused to undertake a coronavirus test because those awful nasal swabs are a secret plot to implant a tracking microchip that will report your every move to Bill Gates’ laptop.

I sneered when some of you whispered that the coronavirus was created to force everyone to stay home so the Daniel Andrews government could secretly erect more 5G transmission towers to bathe everyone in waves of mind-controlling radiation.

I broke a rib from laughing uncontrollably when some of you declared that COVID-19 was hatched from a culture growing in a half-empty coffee cup that had sat on a desk for two weeks at the World Health Organisation’s headquarters.

It was only when it was suggested that a clandestine organisation of powerful marketing executives had installed Scott Morrison as Prime Minister so they could make big money out of replacing the iconic Australian-made kangaroo label with a new product emblem they call a “wattle” (but which looks suspiciously like the coronavirus) that I began to think you were on to something.



So I did some research, you see. Some really detailed scientific investigation.

Not only did I consult reputable sources like Facebook and YouTube, I also had a long chat with the woman who lives alone at the end of the street with 18 cats and many interesting piles of newspapers dating back to 1938.

An afternoon playing heavy metal records backwards to listen to their subliminal messages also proved instructive.

What a smug and ignorant tosser I had been.

You Victorians – always sharp and on the ball – were right all along.

They are definitely out to get us.

Just consider some of the conspiracies my research has unearthed and confirmed over the past few days:

Celebrity chef Pete Evans was kidnapped four years ago by government agents to silence his sensible views on the dangers of vaccination and they replaced him with a lookalike actor who reads from scripts deliberately designed to make him sound crazy. Sign my petition to free Pete now. Better still, let’s march.

Ita Buttrose died in 2014 but a cabal of latte-drinking, black skivvy-wearing, poetry-reading vegan beatniks at the ABC used state of the art tissue regeneration techniques to bring her back to life so she could defend them from budget cuts while they continue trying to turn Australia into a left-wing utopia that will force everyone over the age of 18 to ride a skateboard or monocycle to work and binge watch old episodes of The Drum.

Men with pot bellies, hairy backs and uneven mullets they trim at home themselves without using mirrors are being prevented from pursuing lucrative careers as underwear models by a shadowy organisation of granite-jawed men with dreamy far-away eyes, washboard stomachs and waxed legs who are jealous of men missing teeth and who drive utes with bumper stickers that say “I burn Coal – and Greenies”.

Former Prime Minister Harold Holt did not drown at Cheviot Beach in 1967 or even rendezvous with a Chinese submarine that took him straight to Beijing, but instead dyed his hair, went on a dramatic weight loss course and pursued his life-long ambition of tracking down every odd sock that went missing during his weekly visits to a Canberra laundromat.

People who expose conspiracy theories on social media using incredibly long sentences that run on and on with very little punctuation and sometimes don’t even get to the point are the targets of ridicule and derision by a secretive club of elitist leftist academic types funded by a covert military wing of the Victorian Labor Party that wants to keep them from revealing the startling truth they have uncovered that you don’t need great grammar or concise language to warn the world about…umm…whatever it was they were planning to reveal.

So I’m sorry for all those times I thought some of you Victorians were just going plain old crazy.

You’re not. And neither am I because now I know the real truth.

You don’t need to submit to a nasal swab for coronavirus. You don’t need to follow those stupid social distancing rules, either.

And throw away that face mask.

All you need to stay safe is a tinfoil hat.

SOURCE

I suspect there are a LOT of references in there that most of you won't get.

I'm willing to provide the information if you are interested.

The fact that Reuters found it necessary to fact check something this ridiculous says something about the intelligence of these conspiracy nuts. And it ain't good.

Fact check: Metal strip in medical masks is not a 5G antenna
REUTERS FACT CHECK

Social media users have been sharing a video in which a man claims that a metal strip in medical masks is a 5G antenna. This claim is untrue.

A voice narrates: “Yes, indeed. The antenna killer 5G antenna killer that’s inside the masks that they are telling everybody to wear. Now for everybody that don’t speak Hebrew, this video came out in Hebrew saying they wanted to show you the number one killer inside the masks. So, we took this here out which is a 5G antenna that’s inside the mask, right.” The narrator then shows the metal strip that is inside the top part of a medical mask, used to mold the mask around the user’s nose.

He continues: “They tell you to put it on so that you can breathe right above your nostrils so you can inhale and it can go straight to your brain and begin to destroy. Like they say they kill people in the First World War, the Second World War, through antennas, through the 5G. Not 5G, 5G is new now. But, this was one of the ways, one of the mechanisms in which they used to kill a whole lot of people so for those people who keep running out, grabbing these masks and trusting in the system, and the way in doing things the way everybody telling them to do it, alright these are the chances you take.” The man then advises watchers to make their own masks instead.

The metal strip in medical masks serves quite a different purpose. A spokesperson for 3M, which makes protective equipment, told Reuters via email that the metal strip in their surgical masks allows them to “be shaped to form against the wearer’s nose to help provide a better fit.”

In a video explaining how to wear a mask correctly, Dr April Baller of the World Health Organization (WHO) says: “Verify which side is the top: this is usually where the metal strip is”. Baller instructs users how to put on the mask and then adds, “Pinch the metal strip so that it moulds to the shape of your nose”. ( here )

Seto Wing Hong, co-director of the WHO Collaborating Centre for Infectious Disease Epidemiology and Control, gives a similar explanation in a Bloomberg QuickTake News video ( here ). He points out the top of the mask and explains: “Now you see this here? This tight, little, thick band here? It’s to show you that you should put it on the top. Why? Because once you wear it, then you squeeze it so that it pinches the nose, and then you pull it down.”

While 5G antennas can vary in size, some can be seen ( here , here and here ).

Previous Reuters fact checks have debunked other false information related to 5G technology, including the suggestion that 5G networks, not the coronavirus, are making people sick ( here )

VERDICT

False. The metal strip in a medical mask is to help mould the mask around the user’s nose to fit better.

This article was produced by the Reuters Fact Check team. Read more about our fact-checking work here .    

SOURCE

multiple vids and live links at source

Well, you have to admit one of those 5G antennas would mash a mask to your face pretty tightly.

How to talk to conspiracy theorists—and still be kind
Experts and r/ChangeMyView subreddit moderators offer 10 tips to debunk conspiracy theories convincingly.
Tanya Basuarchive



On May 4, a slick, 26-minute video was released, alleging that the coronavirus was actually a laboratory-manipulated virus deployed to wreak havoc so that a resulting vaccine could be used for profit. None of that was true, and Plandemic’s claims were thoroughly, repeatedly debunked. Still, it went viral, getting liked on Facebook 2.5 million times. Soon after, another conspiracy theory took hold: Bill Gates's plan was to control vaccination efforts that would include tracking people via implanted microchips activated by 5G cellular towers. Again, obviously not true.

But a Pew Research Center survey of US adults found that 36% thought these conspiracy theories were probably or definitely true. Perhaps some of those people are your family, your friends, your neighbors.

So how do you talk to a person who believes a conspiracy theory? This is something that the members of one of the internet’s most vibrant communities, r/ChangeMyView, deal with on a daily basis. This is the place on Reddit where people go to have their own beliefs challenged, and it is known as a calm, moderate place for debate.

We asked some of its most active users, as well as some conspiracy theory researchers, for their tips.

BEFORE YOU HAVE THE TALK, BEAR IN MIND:

It’s very human and normal to believe in conspiracy theories. “Conspiracy theories resonate with ...

MORE>

That thirty-six percent of Americans believe that story is incredible. There is something very deeply wrong with the American psyche that allows that and some these other conspiracy theories to gain traction. One thing is certain at some point it's a failing that is going to cause very major problems for at least the U.S. and maybe the rest of us as well.

Proof that he's real (and smarter than many humans)

"They like to say I don't read. I read a lot. I comprehend extraordinarily well. Probably better than anybody that you've interviewed in a long time." ~ Trump to Axios' Jonathan Swan

Priceless

"Do you know it's my dream to have my face on Mount Rushmore?" ~ Trump, to South Dakota governor Kristi Noem

Just so you know, this is real

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/p ... e-1041570/

Donald took a quick trip to Rome. While there, he met the Pope:

"I met with Pope Francis today. He's a really great pope — great, great pope. You know he's the leader of the Catholic Church — big church.”

“I couldn't believe it when he told me how many Catholics there are. Way more than I thought. They have churches all over the world; some are very, very close -- so close -- to my hotels and golf courses.

"He tells me he’s elected for life, probably copying that Xi guy in China. Fantastic idea, though. Fantastic. It turns out the pope is a lot like me, you never see him with his wife.

“He tells me that he’s infallible. I said that’s great, you’ll never have to worry about breaking a hip.

"And he told me about a Mary Magdalene, beautiful girl, beautiful. Apparently a hooker. I asked him for her number. Didn’t catch his answer. I’m told he said it in Latin. I give the guy credit because he doesn’t look Latino.

"He took me into the Sistine Chapel. Beautiful ceiling. Not the usual white stucco stuff. I don't think too many people even know about this place. The paintings are great, I'm telling you. Lots of colours.

“The Pope -- great guy, by the way, knows more about the Bible than almost anybody; we got along great. I think he really likes me -- told me the whole thing was painted by this young Italian. I think his name is Mike Langelo.

“At least that's what Frank -- we're great friends -- called him, I think. Trust me, we're going to hear more about this guy. He's really artistic, and everybody tells me I have the greatest eye for the best art. It’s natural, just like my incredible understanding of science. All the renowned scientists say they can’t believe it.

“I told Frank I'd like to buy some of Mike's art. I asked if Mike’s done anything on velvet. He'll check -- great guy. I'll hang his stuff at Mar-a-Lago or Trump Tower. This Mike guy needs more exposure. He's too much with the churches.

“He could paint my presidential portrait on the Capitol Dome. Or maybe a mural on my big, beautiful border wall. But just on our side.

“When we left, the pope gave me a bible. Huge book. Huge! I told him I have the full set. You get one for free every time you take a porn star to a hotel room.”

He pauses.

“Unbelievable. Just heard. The lame stream media is at it again. Fake news. Fake news. I just saw something on TV. They claim Mike the painter died 450 years ago. Sad. I’ve already got people looking into this and you won’t believe what they’re finding.

These are hilarious!

This makes as much sense as some of the stuff we've heard from the GOP recently

Keeping that dinosaur cooped up like that is cruel - they should be calling the SPCA not the manager

A Russian agent arrives at a small Welsh station and asks for Mr Jones.

“Well,” says the stationmaster, “there’s Jones the Milk, Jones the Meat, Jones the Flowers, Jones the Undertaker. In fact, my name’s Jones.”

The agent whispers to him, “The eagle doesn’t walk over the mountain.”

“Ah,” says the stationmaster, “you want Jones the Spy.”

We Doublechecked And These Trump Stories Aren’t Fake News
By Cracked PlasticiansCracked Plasticians

These days, the media cycle is pretty much populated by "stupid thing Trump did" ad nauseam -- until said stupid thing is causing a nuclear war that ends the media cycle, and humanity, permanently.

But it turns out the Trump-is-an-idiot train isn't really new ground for the news. For example ...



https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-770- ... ly-missed/

t Why Donald Trump Made The Worst SNL Episode Ever - Cracked Responds: