For the ladies

Far away in the tropical waters of the Coral Sea two prawns were swimming around.
One called James and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day James said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn;
I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'.
Lo and behold, James turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it does) and James found life as a shark boring and lonely.
All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
James began to realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes James swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. 'Where's Christian?' he asked.
He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode.
As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.
He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, James, your old friend, come out and see me again.'
Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me.
You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'
James cried back 'No, I'm not.
That was the old me. I've changed.'.........
(You're going to love this................................)
..
..
I've found Cod.
I'm a Prawn again Christian'

G-R-O-A-N

LOL

Those Repub women.

Fruit Loops. ~ topping for new breakfast pizza, served with sour cream and cream cheese sauce, offered by Fong's Pizza in Des Moines, IA

shiftless2 wrote:

Fruit Loops. ~ topping for new breakfast pizza, served with sour cream and cream cheese sauce, offered by Fong's Pizza in Des Moines, IA

EEEEEyuk! Next thing you know they'll be putting ham and pineapple on pizzas!

TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11 STORE. AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER, " WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?"

THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND."

"I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM" THE OTHER NUN REPLIED, AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE CHECK-OUT.

THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER. "WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR" THE NUN SAID, "BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO".

WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER. PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER.

HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID:
"THE CURLERS ARE ON THE HOUSE."