For his sake I hope she can either cook or is good in bed.

True story.  I took journalism in college.  As part of our work experience I was sent by the Welland Evening Tribune to cover court.  It was one of the most hilarious experiences of my life but one case in particular stood out.

This took place in 1971 or '72 during traffic court which was fairly relaxed  as far a procedure went.  A lady with a very strong eastern European accent had been charged with speeding and she was vigorously contesting the charge.  The police officer who had stopped her was just as adamant that she had been speeding.  Because of her accent it was sometimes hard to understand her and finally the judge just asked her point blank why she thought she was not speeding when the policeman with his radar said she was.  Her answer:  "I am from Czchoslovakia.  I don't do anything to get noticed by the police."  For the next fifteen minute the judge, the crown attorney (prosecutor) and the cop all discussed how it was possible for her not to have been speeding when the police were sure she was.  Finally the cop came up with the solution - which is not far from what the lady in the video was saying - the tires on her car might be larger than they were supposed to be which, he suggested, might make the speedometer think the car was going slower than it really was.  That satisfied the judge who acquitted her and sent her home to get her tires checked.