It is currently 04/20/21 8:30 pm
WELCOME to Voices or Choices!
If you have no posts, please register for a new account.
If you are a former member rejoining VoC and wish to be reunited with your existing posts,
please email your username to reunite@voicesorchoices.com.

All times are UTC - 6 hours




  Page 1 of 1   [ 8 posts ] New Topic Add Reply
Author Message
 Offline
 Post subject: Funny
PostPosted: 04/17/20 6:08 pm • # 1 
User avatar
Hero Member

Joined: 02/09/09
Posts: 4567
This came in an email. I don't know if the Wash. Post part is true but it's funny anyway.



Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle , olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon , a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

The winners are:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these Really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 04/19/20 12:22 am • # 2 
User avatar
Hero Member

Joined: 05/05/10
Posts: 13949
:rollin :rollin :rollin Thanks John, I needed that.


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 04/19/20 10:17 am • # 3 
Administrator

Joined: 01/16/16
Posts: 9468
Trump family thinks the bozone layer will prevent them from becoming coffees.


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 04/20/20 7:16 am • # 4 
User avatar
Hero Member

Joined: 02/09/09
Posts: 4567
oskar576 wrote:
Trump family thinks the bozone layer will prevent them from becoming coffees.


Trump is an Ignoranus.


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 06/13/20 10:55 am • # 5 
Administrator

Joined: 01/16/16
Posts: 9468
Image


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 06/15/20 6:48 pm • # 6 
User avatar
Hero Member

Joined: 01/20/09
Posts: 8028
:rollin


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 06/22/20 4:12 pm • # 7 
Administrator

Joined: 01/16/16
Posts: 9468
Now I know why God invented chairs with wheels.... I don't have to get up to fetch a beer.


Top
  
 Offline
 Post subject: Re: Funny
PostPosted: 03/31/21 3:58 pm • # 8 
User avatar
Hero Member

Joined: 01/22/09
Posts: 9364
Those are great. I wish I could remember some to throw in with various posts. (I've got no problem with plagerism. Whoever came up with the idea just saved me the toruble of thinking it up for myself later one.)


Top
  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  

  Page 1 of 1   [ 8 posts ] New Topic Add Reply

All times are UTC - 6 hours



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group