Truths For Mature Humans

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Was learning cursive really necessary?

6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.  I'm pretty
 sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9. Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear
I did not make any changes to.

13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail.
 What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
 Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

17. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

18. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you
are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.