Summary of  Life

 GREAT  TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE  LEARNED:
1) No  matter how hard you try, you can't baptize  cats..
 2) When your Mom is mad at  your Dad, don't let her brush your  hair.
 3) If your sister hits you, don't  hit her back. They always catch the second  person.
 4) Never ask your 3-year  old brother to hold a tomato.
 5) You  can't trust dogs to watch your  food..
 6) Don't sneeze when someone is  cutting your hair..
 7) Never hold a  Dust-Buster and a cat at the same  time.
 8) You can't hide a piece  of broccoli in a glass of  milk.
 9) Don't wear polka-dot  underwear under white  shorts.
 10) The best  place to be when you're sad is Grandma's  lap.

 
 
GREAT  TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
 1)  Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a  tree.
 2) Wrinkles don't  hurt.
 3) Families are like  fudge...mostly sweet, with a few  nuts
 4) Today's mighty oak is  just yesterday's nut that held its  ground...
 5) Laughing is good  exercise. It's like jogging on the  inside.
 6) Middle age is when you  choose your cereal for the fiber, not the  toy..

 GREAT  TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
 
 1)  Growing old is mandatory; growing up is  optional...
 2) Forget the health  food. I need all the preservatives I can  get.
 3) When you fall down, you  wonder what else you can do while you're down  there.
 4) You're getting old when you  get the same sensation from a rocking chair that  you once got from a roller  coaster.
 5) It's frustrating when  you know all the answers but nobody bothers to  ask you the questions...
 6) Time  may be a great healer, but it's a lousy  beautician
 7) Wisdom comes with age,  but sometimes age comes  alone.

 THE FOUR  STAGES OF LIFE:

 1)  You believe in Santa Claus.
 2)  You don't believe in Santa Claus.
 3)  You are Santa Claus..
 4) You look like  Santa Claus.

 

 

There is a 5th stage to life: You meet Santa Claus