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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/01/11 8:17 am • # 26 
Jim
Losing her was just like losing a very close relate, since I have always thought that the two of you were so special and I for one will really miss her... I had just lost a WWII great friend 2 days before and with both of them gone makes me feel so sad and wishing you the very best Jim and do take care my friend... Catch you on the boards later...


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/01/11 9:20 am • # 27 
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My sympathies to you, Jim William, and to everyone who knew, loved, and will miss April.    There really aren't any words that will make things "okay."  I am sorry for your loss.


jd


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/01/11 12:41 pm • # 28 
Jim, my deepest condolences to you and your family. I will miss Butterfly, she was a lot of fun to post with, a lot of happiness and positive energy came off the screen when she posted.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/01/11 4:09 pm • # 29 
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As I try to make sense of this, I keep asking myself why am I still here? Why is April gone? Me, with my jaded views and sometimes caustic outlook, her with her gentle, forgiving soul and sunny outlook. Anyway, I thought about this:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant (Foreseeing the future).




I think April was the first two for many here and I know that she was for you, Jim. She was also a lifetime relationship for you as in the relationship of a lifetime. Her lifetime so sadly cut short, which you filled with love, compassion, support and happiness.

For April:

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.â€



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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/02/11 12:34 pm • # 30 
Call me a wimp if you want, but every time I come to this thread, I can't hold the tears back. So this will be my last trip to it. 


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 5:58 am • # 31 
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Thank you all for all the kind comments about April.  The world was a much better place with her in it and she will be very sadly missed. 

April off the boards was the very same as she was on the groups....thoughtful, funny, firendly to everyone.  She always took people for what they were and drew no distinctions between them no matter their politics, wealth, age or physical/mental status.  Many of you would be surprised to know of regular, friendly correspondence she carried out with members both here and on CE11.  They came from both the extreme right and the extreme left.  Rather than looking away or trying to skirt them, she always had a few coins for the homeless on the street and, more often than not, would stop and chat with them. 

Our building was formerly a seniors residence and still has many elderly and very elderly residents.  She was a favorite of all of them because she really cared about them.  Ninety year old Elmer, next door to us, would stand on the sidewalk below our balcony and do little dances to get her attention.  Old Mary, pretty much an agoraphobic who seldom leaves her apartment, loved April's visits and even asked if April would take her to the pub across the street to have some chicken wings.  Old Fred, down the hall, was totally in love with her and we were guaranteed a nice salmon or piece of halibut whenever he went fishing.  Kaz, the old gardener, was her favorite model for pictures and he was always after her to come and take more.  Even the building managers loved her and yesterday they suggested organizing a little memorium tea in one of the common rooms for her.

Her best friend, here in B.C., was Cindy who suffers from bi-polar disorder and April stuck by her through all her hospitalizations.  One thing I am so pleased with is that, just this past Saturday, they had a girl's night out and went for dinner and to a Heart concert.  They had a blast and she was so happy (and a little tipsy) when she got home.  Saturday was also a snow day here, which delighted her. 

In fact, her last two days were really good.  Sunday, we just stayed home for the morning working on her photography facebook group and I made her one of our famous breakfasts.  In the afternoon she stayed home and puttered while I took the dogs out and then we made a wonderful roast beef supper.  We climbed into bed early and she got into her favorite postion with me leaning against the headboard and her beween my legs leaning on my belly while I held her and provided headrubs while we watched a bit of tv.  She truly loved when we did that (which was practically every night) and especially loved when we fell asleep in that position. 

Monday morning we were up early and we had fun playing on her group again.  When it was time for me to go to work I got in the shower and she made my breakfast (she got it done and on the table too).  That's when God decided to take her.  I miss her so much.

You guys, on this group, did provide us with one of the happiest days of our lives, though when you did the cyber wedding for us.  You have no idea how deeply grateful we are for that.  In honour of you and April here is a picture of us on that day.

Image


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 8:15 am • # 32 
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You two are one of my favorite love stories, Jim. I liked you both, and then when I first heard about the two of you getting together, my immediate reaction was "Well of course! They're a perfect fit!"

Lovely picture. Thank you.Image 


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 9:54 am • # 33 
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((((((((((jim))))))))))))) Thanks for posting that pic as I was trying to find the wedding pics. It's my favorite because April looks radiantly happy  (you look like you still can't believe she's yoursImage).  Your stories about the elderly residents does not surprise me. April seemed like the kind of person who brought sunshine and happiness to anyone she met. I'm sorry I never told her that.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 11:01 am • # 34 
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your post made me cry jim. she really was a lovely person.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 11:06 am • # 35 
we're all crying...


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 1:13 pm • # 36 
Sidartha wrote:
we're all crying...
Your so right and we had a lot of company...


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 1:17 pm • # 37 
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I love that picture of you both.

I'm so glad you took a chance on each other.  I'm so glad she moved out there.  I'm so glad you both had the time you had together.  You two were some of the lucky ones.

I'm so sorry it didn't last longer.
Image


I don't know why i'm posting that, other than i think she would have liked it.  I always loved to hear about your outdoor adventures.



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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 1:22 pm • # 38 

Oh boy, jim.

You both look radiant!!!! 

Yours is a great love story, jim!!!! 



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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 2:31 pm • # 39 
Jim:
Both you and Butterfly were and are unforgettable.  It pains me so to know of your loss.  While it is still difficult to believe, and we are all still stunned by the news, we all care about both of you and from the beginning,  hoped and wished for the best for two of the "beautiful people".

Butterfly's posts were always those that I looked forward to reading.

Thanks for so generously sharing in your joys and sorrow with us.
The photo is lovely. You are both radiant.

Peace All-
kabeeb


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 2:48 pm • # 40 
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Jim i heard this and it made me think of you and April.



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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/03/11 8:39 pm • # 41 
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That was beautiful Blue.  And, yeah, I always expected to see her again and I still do.  I expect her to walk in the door at any moment.  I phone the answering machine jus to hear her voice and half expecting her to have picked up the messages.  This afternoon I met her sister, who had come up from California, and we first went to make arrangements and then out to the apartment where we went through pictures of her.  It was hard, but it was also nice.  It reminded me of just how wonderful April was and how great our love for each other was. 

From the time we started e-mailing each other our lives seemed to have an unreal quality to them.  It seemed too perfect.  There had to be something wrong.  And yet, every step we took just made things better.  Sure we had some pretty firey arguments at times but they never lasted long and they were never serious.  I'd been married before so I knew that as soon as I admitted I was wrong everything would be okay.  And we did have many adventures together.  I think the thing I enjoyed most was showing her things she had never seen before.  She would get so delighted and often tear up when a new vista opened up.  She was awed last summer when we went through the Rocky Mountains and stunned by the view of the ocean from the Sea -to - Sky Highway. She loved little Wayne, Alberta with its population of 27 and insisted we retire near there in a few years.  She laughed so hard when we tried to ride our bikes around Drumheller.  She complained that the front wheel was wobbly  until I pointed out the bike was fine, it was her that was wobbly. 

And yes, Green Apple, she would have loved that picture and that place....as long as there weren't any bears.  She was afraid of bears.  When we went on our honeymoon last summer there were a couple of places we stopped where she wouldn't get out of the car because she thought there might be bears around.  I kept telling her the bears were more afraid of her than she them.  That in all my years crawling around the bush I'd only seen bears a handful of time.  She was almost convinced until we went around a corner and there was a great big grizzley standing right beside the road. 

One of her favorite things was to be a brat and a rule bender.  Like Saturday night when she went to the concert she took her little point and shoot camera and was snapping pictures of the crowd and a few of the show....against all the rules.  She got busted by security and, being April, instead of anything bad happening she just talked the security guy into using the camera to take a picture of her and her girlfriend.  She was wonderful.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/04/11 3:10 am • # 42 
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Loving the hand, gentle the reproving;
     Loving the heart, deeper the understanding;
Deeper the understanding, larger the confiding
     For the hurt heart's hiding.
Forgiving the hand, love without an ending
     Walks back on water; giving and taking
Both sides become by simple comprehending:
     Deeper the love, greater the heart at breaking.

-George Barker


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/04/11 3:26 am • # 43 
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Jim, thank you for sharing your stories! It helps me to hear the real life stories since I am  so far away and can't give you the hugs and support I really want to give. I laughed through my tears at the concert picture taking story. Sounds just like her. Image


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/04/11 6:58 am • # 44 
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Sid:  I know you don't live too far from Hamilton.  Her family is arranging a memorial service for her in Hamilton or Dundas for the week after next and I will be taking her ashes out there to be buried in her family plot.  If you are interested in attending please let me know and I will post the details here when I get them.  I understand it is difficult for you to get around at times so there will be no offense taken if you choose not to come.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/04/11 7:28 am • # 45 
Jim... there is nothing I'd like to do more than attend but I have no transportation. I may be able to get a ride to Hamilton from a friend of mine and I will put this to her and see what she says. Thanks for informing me and I too will keep you apprised.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/04/11 7:35 am • # 46 
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I am going to rent a car while I'm there, Sid.  Depending upon timing, I might even be able to pick you up.  You are only about 40 minutes from Hamilton, aren't you?


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/04/11 7:45 am • # 47 
It's more like an hour from Hamilton... Hwy 403 west past Brantford to Hwy 24 south to Simcoe. Google maps is your friend... But - a friend of mine lives half way between Brantford and Simcoe and she works in Hamilton. I'm going to ask her for a ride to Hamilton and back (it might mean a sleep-over at her place). This way I can get close to Dundas if that's where the memorial service is going to be held. I'm going to do whatever I can to make this happen!


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/06/11 4:18 am • # 48 
Jim, I so love that picture of you and Butterfly.  I still do not want to believe she is gone but it does bring many smiles reading the many storeis you two shared on here.


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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/09/11 5:30 am • # 49 

ImageImage



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 Post subject: A Butterfly Is Gone
PostPosted: 03/09/11 8:01 am • # 50 
              :'(


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